JEFF PROBST: Previously, on Survivor 3.01: The Yukon: In the Immunity Challenge, Konga pulled off a surprise upset, sending Sampo to its second Tribal Council in a row. After the votes were cast, Carmelita was forced to leave the Yukon, while Lobo received three votes.
[Sampo Campsite, immediately after Tribal Council]
LOBO: What the hell was that? We told you vote Kitten!
NEIL: Yeah. What was the logic behind that, again?
RUBY: You were supposed to vote for Kitten, because it doesn’t matter how many votes she has, going into the merge.
MR. B NATURAL: The rest of us are untouched!
KITTEN: Yeah! Nobody’s going to vote me out, because I’m a hot chick, and I’m cool! Grrrr!
LOBO: Lobo just not get it. Lobo trying to understand.
GEORGIA: You can’t be that stupid. Neil and I aren’t particularly interested in helping any of you win a million dollars.
NEIL: Hell, Lobo, I just wish I could have gotten the people from Konga to vote for you.
LOBO: If it revenge, just say so. Lobo understand.
NEIL: It isn’t revenge, if it’s… ummm… help me out here, Georgia.
GEORGIA: OK. Maybe it was revenge. If we’re going down, we’re taking you with us.
LOBO: Oh, that real mature.
NEIL: You want to talk about maturity? Let’s talk about maturity. The four of you voted Warren out, essentially because he owns a Corvette. How’s that for maturity?
[The argument continues into the night, Lobo seemingly unable to comprehend that Georgia and Neil are still playing the game. Or is it all a brilliant ploy on Lobo’s part?]
[The next day, Tree Mail arrives.]
From your Tribe, take out half,
Like separating wheat from chaff.
Send them on a little trip.
Get a move on! Bip bip bip!
[Konga Campsite]
EULABELLE: Sounds like somebody’s going to have to do some steppin’ into the tundra!
GLEN: Well, how should we choose who goes?
MELISSA: …Well, I’m up for a little mystery.
ROGER: Ah’m goin’!
TORGO: I’d… LIKE… to STAY… here. My… KNEES… are… KILLING… me.
MICKEY: I’m tired of always being left behind. They always leave me. Can I go?
GLEN: OK. It’s Roger, Melissa, and Mickey. Good luck, guys.
[They head off on their journey. Over at Sampo:]
NEIL: Outstanding! A chance out of this dump! Georgia, you want to come?
GEORGIA: Hell, yes.
LOBO: Lobo go with. Lobo want berate you some more.
[They leave the remaining members of Sampo behind, and start off. On the way, Lobo makes a discovery.]
LOBO: Hey look! Lobo find mushrooms! You think they good to eat?
NEIL: Can’t hurt, big guy.
LOBO (picking some mushrooms): You want any these mushrooms, Sarge?
NEIL: No thanks.
LOBO: How ‘bout you, Georgia?
[Lobo is bent down picking the mushrooms. Neil catches Georgia’s eye, and shakes his head.]
GEORGIA: No, that’s all right, Lobo. I’m not really hungry.
LOBO: OK, then. More shrooms for Lobo. Ho Ho! Lobo make joke. More shrooms! You get it?
NEIL: You’re a regular Oscar Wilde, Lobo.
LOBO: What?
[In a clearing, the two parties meet Jeff Probst]
JEFF PROBST: Looks like everybody’s here. I’ll need your buffs.
MELISSA: … Our what?
JEFF PROBST: Your colors. Those silly neckerchiefs we gave you at the start of the game. OK, now trade them. Melissa, Roger, Mickey, you three are now members of Sampo. Neil, Lobo, Georgia, you are now members of Konga. Off you go.
ROGER: Well, ah’ll be! Yew could just knock me over with a feather, Ah’ll tell you what! Hey, Ah have a feather right here! Knock me over with it!
MELISSA: … Oh, put that back, Roger.
[The two parties head off to their new campsites.]
[Sampo Campsite]
KITTEN: What is this? This is definitely not a purple scene!
MR. B NATURAL: Fresh slaves, to do our bidding!
MICKEY: Wow. What a mess. Just look at this place. It’s a mess.
RUBY: Yeah, you guys have a lot of work to do. Not you, sweetie (indicating Melissa). Come sit by Ruby.
MELISSA: … So, is there a stream around here? …I always like to know where the fish lives.
[At the Konga Campsite, Georgia and Eulabelle hit if off immediately.]
EULABELLE: Well, Glen’s strong, that’s for sure. He really won Immunity for us the last two times. But I trust him about as far as I could throw him. And he was totally under Roger’s thumb.
GEORGIA: Uh huh.
EULABELLE: Torgo’s a good guy, once you get to know him. A little odd, though. Walks just like a zombie! Am I sayin’ too much?
GEORGIA: No. Go on.
[Back at Sampo, Kitten has also made a discovery].
KITTEN: Hey guys! Check it out! I have a tick on my butt! Wooooo! [She hikes up her shorts to reveal a rather large tick on her rear end.]
ROGER (clearly horrified): YAAAHHH! NOW YEW GOIN’ BE THE TICK BUTT!
MR. B NATURAL: What a bizarre thing to say!
ROGER: Sorry. It’s just that the same thing happened to me, once. ‘Cept it wasn’t a tick, it was a worm. And it wasn’t on mah butt, it was on mah face! And it wasn’t just one, it was like twenty of them!! And they didn’t just set there, they burrowed up under mah skin!!!
RUBY: My God, Roger, that’s awful!
ROGER: Aw shoot! ‘Tweren’t no big deal!
MR. B NATURAL: You’d be a really handsome man, if you didn’t have the worm face.
MELISSA: …And to think, just before the Blubber Challenge, you said you couldn’t eat a worm. … And after they had tried to eat you!
ROGER: Well, Ah can forgive. (Darkly): But Ah doesn’t forget.
KITTEN: Yeah, my pump bleeds for your plastic scene. Now can someone get this damn tick off of me?
JEFF PROBST: Tick on the butt. How did it get there? Somewhere, Coleman Francis is dreaming up a screenplay. Anyway, as for previously developed alliances, all bets are off. Tomorrow brings another Immunity Challenge. See you next time, on Survivor!
Day 15
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